Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you all, I hope this year you & yours stay healthy and happy, and your dreams come true….whatever they may be.

This is how I am feeling this New Year. I never make New Year resolutions, I have learned from experience that I am doomed to never keeping them πŸ™‚ But I have spent alot of time thinking over this first few days of the year. I have started the year so weary!!! Our plans last year went all skew-iffy and all we have done the last four months or so is work because of company/organisational needs. Roger took a job of 3 days a week and has worked 5 since he started, because they “are behind”. I agreed early last year to go back to my former place of work as a reliever for occasional shifts only to keep my hand in there, I enjoy it and missed it. Over the year there have been a few issues (as there is in any place) and my hours crept up, for too many months we have been so short staffed that I have been working far too many hours for me – up to 65 hours a fortnight and 3 nights a week “on-call” if there are any problems. I work in a mental health respite place and have been there 7 years, I do love it. But I also want my life back, the one where I work in the garden, make soap and other things, I don’t want to be so tired on my days off I feel like a zombie. I have Fibromyalgia, I feel like crap most days but try and keep active because I need to. I don’t want to live with resentment at being ill all the time, resentment because too many other things steal my time, resentment because my needs are not being met. Basically, trying to fit “The Simple Life” into a hectic lifestyle doesn’t work πŸ™‚ I want to sleep if I need to, sulk on the bad days… sleep under the stars because I just feel like it, pick wildflowers and herbs, create, dabble, experiment, experience and do things, whatever things I feel I need to do at that time! After telling my sister a couple of months ago I am doing fine pushing through feeling like shit, I now want to just surrender to the fact I feel like that, for the first time ever! So, with the New Year I am taking two weeks off work to decide whether I want to even go back because right now I am over it, I am exhausted, in pain and feeling very hard done by because my soap-making has turned to zilch along with time in the kitchen and garden doing what is important to us – what I enjoy doing has been absent and that’s not ok.

Anyway, after all that whining πŸ™‚ I have to share this. This morning I received Happy Mail all the one from Canada and the funny, very talented, very delightful Kelly at Boomdeeadda. After commenting on her paper Halloween House a couple of months ago it arrived in a very cute package on my footpath.Β IMG_4330

Not only a most gorgeous haunted house but the cutest little poetry book I have ever seen, a postcard complete with flag, a Canadian gardening magazine and a bar of chocolate from a company in the Canadian Rockies. What utter JOY to unwrap πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Look at this treasure!

IMG_4331The house and book are all made from scrapbooking paper, they are just the cutest things. And Mittens got the wrapping because he loved it so much.

Thanks so much Boomdee, truly, it made my week!! I am just amazed to see how intricate it all is and how much time it must of taken…and your very obvious patience!

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30 thoughts on “Happy New Year!

  1. Boomdee strikes again! I have never seen anything like her creations and the care and style and joy that each one presents makes receiving a little something – or in your case, a big something – extremely special. She is a treasure! I bet that cheered you up no end.

    As to the rest of your post – you are right. It is not okay. It is not okay to feel hard done by and resentful. And standing applause for you – taking the first step to allow you to breathe and look about and take stock. It is not okay for any employer to agree to one type of employment and then expect another.

    I hope you can find a way forward that brings balance back and you regain your sense of well-being and okay-ness. Gosh life deals out some challenges sometimes doesn’t it! Sending love and strength. xoxo

    Liked by 4 people

    • Boomdeeadda is indeed a treasure, her craft is amazing and she is also very generous sending out parcels all over the place, I see her name everywhere in posts from delighted recipients πŸ™‚

      No it’s not ok to be feeling like that all the time. You start out doing a little extra to help out, then problems put pressure and expectancy on to you repeatedly and you want to do the right thing by your workplace but when it just goes on for 6 months or more getting steadily worse it has to become a management problem to sort, not yours. I wish I had the energy and health to do it all but I don’t and that’s the reality. I was having such a nice winter just relaxing a bit and doing MY thing for a change and starting to feel good about it!

      Thanks Pauline xx

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Isn’t Boomdee wonderful? What a cheerful package to receive. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the work you do at the respite house. My daughter is back in hospital again, and desperately needs a place like that but they are so few and so underfunded that she is unlikely to find anything that will take her. 😦 But however much you enjoy the work it is wise to consider whether it is worth your health and peace of mind. I wish you the peace and quietness you will need to make up your mind about your future.

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    • Boomdee IS wonderful and I so admire her work and attention to detail!

      I am so sorry to hear that Gallivanta, it must be a terrible worry for you, especially when you are so far away.My hope is that respite houses become the way of the future in mental health, they are such important services in maintaining health and provide an alternative in times of crisis. Hospital stays are traumatic in themselves. We have issues with funding here too and spent some of this year under a cloud of possibly being closed down, every year they reassess services like this with regards to funding. It’s so wrong, with growing numbers of people needing help services are being taken away – recently 8 drop in centres in Wellington were closed, these provide much needed socialisation and support for so many!!

      It’s hard when you are passionate about something to draw a line for yourself but ultimately that is my responsibility to do so, I often lose all awareness of how bad I am feeling till it’s too late….much like mental illness I guess!

      Best wishes to you and your daughter, I hope she recovers some equilibrium very soon Gallivanta, it must be a terrible sadness for you xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha, just recently I have been on the receiving end of Boomdee’s generosity…the packaging only is joy!!!
    I hope you do not mind me commenting on your story of balancing work/life/health….I recognize a lot in your story and I won’t go into boring details. However,the best thing I have learned to indeed live my life the way I want it and what left me with enough energy to make everybody important to me (and myself;0)) happy, was to say “no”. Very hard indeed, because it so that the hardworking and goodwilling people are the one that tired (quote from my doctor;0)) I found it very liberating to discover I could say ‘no’ in a positive way and not loose myself in excusues and guilt.
    It is time for you, to indeed focus on what you want and I have no doubt you will still bring so much beauty and love in the world by doing so. Good Luck and Good Health for 2015!!! xox Johanna

    Liked by 1 person

    • Isn’t she gorgeous and so very clever?! πŸ™‚

      You are of course right, it is up to us to say “No”. You try to do the right things but when it takes it’s toll on you you alone need to realise that and act. I sometimes don’t thought I thought I had finally got that sorted πŸ™‚ It sounds like you can relate and I hope you too are now taking things easier, it sounds like you are.

      Thank you, best wishes for you in the New Year also πŸ™‚ xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Everything Ms Pauline said Wendy. You can’t let your job make you sick and the bottom line here is that you went back with manageable hours dancing in your head and now you are starting to resent what you initially loved. You need to get that balance back and if it isn’t possible to have balance, you need to work out whether or not your job is really for you. Having time to breath, to drink a warm drink without tipping half of it in your lap as you look at your watch and panic that it’s late and you NEED to be in the car…your vegetable/food garden is your place of healing. If Roger is flat out at the moment, why do you need to work all of the hours that God gave you under the sun? Money is nice BUT it can also make you it’s slave and you appear to be slaving for the man at the moment. You need time to take a breather, to put your hands on some seriously good soap, to think about things, to process a new year and to be “you”. I am glad you took a few weeks off Wendy and here’s to knowing what really matters and taking the steps to do what is best for you and your body. Ms Boomdeedaizee is a duck isn’t she :). What a generous soul she is and I am with you on her most intricate of glorious snippings. I wouldn’t have the patience to do something like that and my half arsed attempt would have been tossed into Brunhilda back around march ;). She sent you a “healing package” right when you needed it most. The universe is telling you something Ms Wendy…

    Liked by 2 people

    • She is a generous soul Fran and must be incredibly patient, I am with you there – my efforts too would be tossed in the fire lol.

      It’s never about the money, I don’t need to be earning. We can manage on very little if we need or want to and are much happier having even beans on toast than a Chinese takeaway because you are too weary to cook πŸ™‚ I love everything the respite house stands for and I am attached to it as being a place that does alot of good for some very special people. We almost got closed down through a lack of funding, some staff found other jobs just in case and no more could be hired because there was no guarantee they would even have a job. So we were short staffed anyway and all sorts of personal stuff for some others has meant we constantly needed cover for 3 shifts a day, 7 days a week. Conscientiousness has you stepping up to do what you can but sooner or later the problem needs to be put back on a manager’s plate to be dealt with as relievers get burnt out. Everything that is important in my life has just slipped away over the past 4 months and I have felt it….it is selling your soul when it’s not what you have decided you want but then you get sucked into the need for the place to actually function 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But it’s not my problem, it’s a management issue and that’s where I am leaving it now.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sometimes you have to listen to Kenny Rogers and fold em’. It is the managers problem and that is what they are paid to do…manage. We can’t be everything to everyone lest we lose ourselves in the middle of it all. You are very wise to pull back and save yourself Wendy. A burned out, cranky and sick carer isn’t going to be the best carer no matter how hard she tries.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Where do I start here? First and foremost, your only job is to take care of you. Airlines always say, put on your own oxygen mask first before helping your child. You can’t help your child if you have no life left. There are other ways you can be of service to what you believe in so strongly. You have a writing ability and this is a top down problem. Write to the top but give your body a rest.

    My daughter has Fibro too. She carries a cloths pin in her purse for when someone wants to understand. She tells them to put the pin on their finger and leave it for an hour. Then she will tell them that’s what her body feels like all day every day. She’s had it since childhood. And still no one understands.

    Sweet Kelly is so prolific in her generosity because it is her joy! You can feel it in everything she creates. Joy and love are what move the Universe forward. When you are making your soaps and other things, you send out love and joy into the world. There is no higher calling. There is a need for respite and if you aren’t cautious, you will be in need as well. I’m happy you took time off to reflect. So many don’t. Please let me know when you are ready for me to order from you. It’s a tiny drop in the bucket but that’s how buckets get filled. Hugs to you dear heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw thank you Marlene πŸ™‚ I am sorry to hear your daughter has fibro, it such a pain in the……everywhere! And no, people don’t understand it. I often try to just push through everything and try and have some sort of normal but that of course is impossible and sometimes you just want to scream at the world “I am too sick!!!” It’s fully my fault that I can’t just accept and take the time to just rest, I just find it’s so frustrating! My mind is constantly wanting to DO but my body won’t participate! I need the time to just unwind and get myself back into equilibrium. I feel happy within myself that I know what I want for my future but it doesn’t involve extra demands from a workplace that need sorting…the sorting is not my problem.

      Kelly is so full of joy and yes, sends it out everywhere πŸ™‚ So gorgeous! I just love the wee house and book and so admire her talent.

      I updated my site over the weekend Marlene. Some things are very low but if you email me what you want using the Contact page I can confirm what I have and invoice through Paypal. Thank you for your support when I know you have you own stressors, big hugs x..

      Liked by 1 person

  6. How utterly delightful πŸ˜„. People across the globe are so talented and thoughtful. Happy new year to you and Roger, Wendy. I hope you have a wonderful two weeks off re-evaluating your place in the grand scheme of things. You will make the right choice. I love being week on and week off now. Like you though, i could easily go back and work extra hours as work is always short of someone. I’ve stopped believing the laboratory will stop just because i’m not there πŸ˜„. Being properly rested means i will say yes to a day here or there if i feel up to it. Good luck and take care xoxoxoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh for goodness sake, I just did a big long reply and lost it!
      Kelly is sooo clever and yes, she is very thoughtful πŸ™‚
      Thanks for that Cathy. I never mind stepping up for short periods but basically my last reply came down to, this is a management problem, they can sort it, not my circus πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      Have a great year, both of you xx

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Sometimes It’s hard to make the decision you know you should. I hope you are feeling strong and rested again soon x
    Such a lovely gift at just the right moment, how wonderful for you and what a thoughtful person she is.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am sorry:-( I missed this post until today-I had company the 1st and just stayed away from my computer….I am sorry you are going through a tough time, but I have been in that place before. I am sure you will do what is right, but boy I sure know what you mean about being exhausted + no time to do the things you really love…..your passion:-)
    Wow, what a beautiful gift! I love minature houses creations…you are a very lucky person:-) I wish all the best for you in 2015….see good things happen to those who wait-they get happy mail!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. + I don’t be afraid to walk away + not look back…if you can—your health is what is most important-I life my cup of cheer to 2015…it will be the Year you make it all happen!!!

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  10. I second what everyone else has said! That said, I have to admit to having been in the same place on many occasions in my life. Learning to say ‘no’ is important, but sometimes I don’t do it. It’s a growth thing for me, I guess.

    I’m glad yo0ou’re taking the time off to reflect; enjoy some nights in that hammock for me, will you? I love sleeping outdoors, but of course in the city I never do.

    Love that gift from Boomdee, too! You deserve every bit of that and I’m glad you got Happy Mail to brighten your day!

    Have to go. Have a good couple of weeks and use some of your products on yourself, eh? And know that you are in the hearts and minds of many, many people, not just me. You are loved, even from afar . . . ~ Linne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw, thank you Linne! I am feeling much better now knowing I just have two weeks to myself to do my own thing! It’s made a world of difference, I was just feeling so much frustration! The hammock is still waiting for me, the nights a wee bit chilly this week….weird but I just want to sleep outside right now.

      I love the gift from Boomdee too! lol

      xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh heavens, now that my cup is overflowing with all the kindness here, I think I must endeavour to put my feet back on the ground. You have very generous visitors Wendy. I’d thank each one of them, but I’d fill up your post with the most obvious message. So, with that, I’ll send out one heartfelt message to all:

    Dear Wendy and friends, you’ve been really kind to reply so generously about my project. As so many of you have mentioned, it’s a joy and a passion to spend time in the Boom-Room and what a gift it is to share these things with all of you. Each of us with our love for creating things in an artful way are connecting to make this big ol’ world a smaller, cozier and loving place. I think we’re succeeding tremendously! Cheers to all of you xoxoxo Boomdee

    Thank’s so much for sharing it on Quarter Acre Lifestyle too Wendy. Especially for your beautiful photo’s that show off everything so nicely. I’m glad it added a little sparkle to what sounds like a challenging month. I can only imagine how hard it is to step away and learn to say ‘no’ when people you grow to care about will be affected. Similar situations are happening here. Programs that are valued by those who can least defend themselves seem to fall victim to the economy first. I hope these next couple of weeks will mend your body and soul enough to make these though decisions. It’s misery feeling the way you have all the time and as giving as we all wish we could be, life is too short to be so damn tired. (wait, I think George Strait sang that in some country song :/ ) Love yourself first, when you’re healthy and happy, there’s more of you to share. xox

    I’m thrilled that Mittens got in on the deal. Petals and Blossum were probably all over that paper too. That’s how we roll, sending cat hair around the world just incase you don’t have enough of your own, LOL

    Take good care Wendy, Cheers to Roger too. Happy New Year with Love and Hugs xo Kelly aka Boomdee

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    • Ohhh, what a lovely message! You deserve all those kind sentiments, you really are a treasure in the virtual village here πŸ™‚ I suspect if I put all that time into those intricate and beautiful creations I wouldn’t be quite so generous in giving them away all the time lol. Mittens spent a couple of hours lying there and you made me laugh with that comment – I spend so much time checking my soaps that I send out to make sure there is not a single strand of cat or dog hair on them because I find it in the oddest places!

      Yes, life is too short to be so tired. I quit my job two years ago because it took too much out of me but went back on an agreement of what I could do. I do love the place but I love having the energy for our home life and plans more! I just don’t have enough to go around and it’s hard to explain it to people who can’t understand it.

      You take care too, big hugs back πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Wendy, I am just getting to catch up now that the little ones have gone home and just spotted this.What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I hope putting your feet up, reading a book and hopefully getting out into the garden if only to sit among the plants has made you feel better. A good vent doesn’t hurt either. πŸ˜‰

    Knowing how much you love your garden and soap making and that you don’t need the money maybe you could just do some volunteer work at the respite when you want to, or simply drop in to visit the clients so you could still be there and have some “me” time to do the things that bring you real pleasure and allow you to rest when you need to.

    Happy New Year’s to you and Roger. I hope things only get better from this point forward.

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    • I am behind in reading too πŸ™‚ Feeling much better this week thanks, got over my tired and crabby mood! I have been spending time outside reading my first fiction in years and thoroughly enjoying it πŸ™‚ I decided I will be going back strictly one shift a week and simply not available for any more…and more relaxing downtime when I am at home because I do have to slow down to who I am now, not keep “doing” as I used to. It’s a problem in myself, the mind is willing but the body throws tantrums that she can’t keep up πŸ™‚
      Thanks Lois πŸ™‚

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